Josh
Chim-Chim (Speed Racer)
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Two Clarifications and One Explanation
So a few of you have sought some clarification on some things and where clearly I enjoy stirring the pot, I’d hate to have my good name soiled further and risk spending Thursday nights alone in a booth hoping Colby will buy me another pitcher of beer. So here goes…
1. Selection’s. I have inferred that I believe the selection process has been corrupt. Allow me to specify this comment. With regards to our “All Star” team selections, I believe a true select side should be chosen by a panel of multiple players or even better by team vote and not 1 or 2 people as often small numbers can be clouded by subjectivity. Example- would you want Allen and I (yes Wally- that is he correct grammatical use of I) to pick a team? Although the correct answer is obviously YES, my guess is that many of you would prefer more than 1 or 2 opinions. Now when it comes time to selection of players from clubs onto the All Star team itself, in order to bring it closer to provincial select side standards, I believe a selection panel should be appointed by The Union staffed by those without club affiliation thus removing those who possess a greater interest in getting their own members selected onto the team (ERAC) instead of selecting the best players in the best positions regardless of team affiliation. The same is true with regards to subjectivity and standards in the selections of players for regular season matches. I believe all subjectivity should be removed if not greater efforts made to minimize its impact. One suggestion is to award players points 1-5 in the areas of a) attendance b) fitness c) skill in possession d) strength e) positional performance and f) game knowledge/decision making. Those with the highest scores should be placed into the appropriate positions and in the case of a tie then a selection committee comprised of the coach(s), 2 captains, 1 elected back (not a captain) and 1 elected forward (not a captain) should weigh in. Now here is the important part so read carefully. I was not trying to take a swipe at our Coach nor was I trying to make a swipe at Aaron (who was on the panel of selectors for the All Star squad). With regards to this last season’s selections, the fact is that selecting from 40 guys is much different than selecting from 20 and it is a daunting task for anyone let alone a 1st year coach. I recognize our Coach was acting in ways he felt best or within the structure that was laid out for him by previous administrators (of which mine is listed). In Aaron's case he had no control over the structure of the All Star selection and I believe he was one of the more level headed selectors of the bunch. These things stated, I still stand by my convictions that the All Star squad is not a true select side because of the nature of the selection process and that change is needed for our own standards and methods of match selection. And once again, apologies to Coach and to Aaron if I offended.
2. I have been approached by a few with regards to the slide show that I did not put together. This was not a calculated decision of malison but rater came down to a time crunch caused by three issues. The first issue was that I was plagued by IT problems after that Evil Greg Smokler dumped beer all over my lap-top in South Carolina. Well… maybe he didn’t dump beer all over it but he gave me the beer and if I am looking to lay blame then he is always a great place to start. Second, all of the video I shot was shot in HD format witch is great to view if you have a HDTV however as I found out it is not great if you plan on editing as it is a new technology that not many soft wear designers have catered their editing software to. The necessary process is to down-convert to the recognized format which eats up time (it is done in close to real-time so an 80 minute match will take close 80 minutes to down-convert) and disc space. Which leads to the 3rd and final issue. By the time my computer was repaired from the damaged caused from the Evil Dr. Smokler, I was down to a time crunch. Now this is going to sound crazy to those of you without, but those with know that a wife and child enjoy spending time with their husband/father. Shocking to most, this is true of even my own wife and child. They went largely neglected for many months while I trained and ran with you and the thought of spending a large amount of time to put a video together really didn’t sound appealing knowing that in a very short amount of time I am going to be spending more time away as I join you in preparation to kick the shit out of these hacks in the White division. Note that I spent many hours downloading and burning multiple game DVD’s for the club at no financial cost to the club or those who received the DVD’s. So I hope that with retrospect anyone who thought otherwise now knows it was no reason other than time and family that you didn’t get the video as promised.
Well there they are. Here is one last extremely important thing to remember and those whom I have offended over these issues or anything else in my 10 years with the club; and those who anticipate being the brunt of my comments in the future. Read this very closely. I am a jackass. I accept it and the sooner you accept and embrace this then the sooner you will enjoy my presence. There is much truth in what I say but you must possess the correct mental constitution to understand and enjoy. If it offends you then I apologize as that rarely is my intent. More than likely you don’t understand appreciate or simply do not like my cynical passive aggressive satire. To try to explain it would detract from the humor that I and at least 2 or 3 others enjoy. Stop reading or just walk away. OK. Colby- 9:30 tonight, I’ll be waiting… although he probably doesn’t have a computer unless Allen is home and even then I’m not sure he can use the keyboard with his little alligator arms.
1. Selection’s. I have inferred that I believe the selection process has been corrupt. Allow me to specify this comment. With regards to our “All Star” team selections, I believe a true select side should be chosen by a panel of multiple players or even better by team vote and not 1 or 2 people as often small numbers can be clouded by subjectivity. Example- would you want Allen and I (yes Wally- that is he correct grammatical use of I) to pick a team? Although the correct answer is obviously YES, my guess is that many of you would prefer more than 1 or 2 opinions. Now when it comes time to selection of players from clubs onto the All Star team itself, in order to bring it closer to provincial select side standards, I believe a selection panel should be appointed by The Union staffed by those without club affiliation thus removing those who possess a greater interest in getting their own members selected onto the team (ERAC) instead of selecting the best players in the best positions regardless of team affiliation. The same is true with regards to subjectivity and standards in the selections of players for regular season matches. I believe all subjectivity should be removed if not greater efforts made to minimize its impact. One suggestion is to award players points 1-5 in the areas of a) attendance b) fitness c) skill in possession d) strength e) positional performance and f) game knowledge/decision making. Those with the highest scores should be placed into the appropriate positions and in the case of a tie then a selection committee comprised of the coach(s), 2 captains, 1 elected back (not a captain) and 1 elected forward (not a captain) should weigh in. Now here is the important part so read carefully. I was not trying to take a swipe at our Coach nor was I trying to make a swipe at Aaron (who was on the panel of selectors for the All Star squad). With regards to this last season’s selections, the fact is that selecting from 40 guys is much different than selecting from 20 and it is a daunting task for anyone let alone a 1st year coach. I recognize our Coach was acting in ways he felt best or within the structure that was laid out for him by previous administrators (of which mine is listed). In Aaron's case he had no control over the structure of the All Star selection and I believe he was one of the more level headed selectors of the bunch. These things stated, I still stand by my convictions that the All Star squad is not a true select side because of the nature of the selection process and that change is needed for our own standards and methods of match selection. And once again, apologies to Coach and to Aaron if I offended.
2. I have been approached by a few with regards to the slide show that I did not put together. This was not a calculated decision of malison but rater came down to a time crunch caused by three issues. The first issue was that I was plagued by IT problems after that Evil Greg Smokler dumped beer all over my lap-top in South Carolina. Well… maybe he didn’t dump beer all over it but he gave me the beer and if I am looking to lay blame then he is always a great place to start. Second, all of the video I shot was shot in HD format witch is great to view if you have a HDTV however as I found out it is not great if you plan on editing as it is a new technology that not many soft wear designers have catered their editing software to. The necessary process is to down-convert to the recognized format which eats up time (it is done in close to real-time so an 80 minute match will take close 80 minutes to down-convert) and disc space. Which leads to the 3rd and final issue. By the time my computer was repaired from the damaged caused from the Evil Dr. Smokler, I was down to a time crunch. Now this is going to sound crazy to those of you without, but those with know that a wife and child enjoy spending time with their husband/father. Shocking to most, this is true of even my own wife and child. They went largely neglected for many months while I trained and ran with you and the thought of spending a large amount of time to put a video together really didn’t sound appealing knowing that in a very short amount of time I am going to be spending more time away as I join you in preparation to kick the shit out of these hacks in the White division. Note that I spent many hours downloading and burning multiple game DVD’s for the club at no financial cost to the club or those who received the DVD’s. So I hope that with retrospect anyone who thought otherwise now knows it was no reason other than time and family that you didn’t get the video as promised.
Well there they are. Here is one last extremely important thing to remember and those whom I have offended over these issues or anything else in my 10 years with the club; and those who anticipate being the brunt of my comments in the future. Read this very closely. I am a jackass. I accept it and the sooner you accept and embrace this then the sooner you will enjoy my presence. There is much truth in what I say but you must possess the correct mental constitution to understand and enjoy. If it offends you then I apologize as that rarely is my intent. More than likely you don’t understand appreciate or simply do not like my cynical passive aggressive satire. To try to explain it would detract from the humor that I and at least 2 or 3 others enjoy. Stop reading or just walk away. OK. Colby- 9:30 tonight, I’ll be waiting… although he probably doesn’t have a computer unless Allen is home and even then I’m not sure he can use the keyboard with his little alligator arms.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Blue Division All Star Mascot
Man, it only this cat came in blue...
Sublit your ideas.
UPDATE
The2ndRow's IT staff hard at work. Get the scientest working on the tube technology immedately...
Also suggested:
The Lady Eagles
Not even a multitude of wheat beers and stimulating commentary by Allen Rooney could make that USA/Munster game interesting. In a stunning display of flat play highlighted by dropped passes, knock-on's and failed attempts to capitalize on penalties, yesterday the Eagles prepped for the RWC by falling 6-10 to Munster. It was as pathetic as watching Jud try to muscle down a 1/2 pint of beer or Seamus and Cheese race each other in a 50 meter sprint. Oh the shame. Get on the band wagon now people, Go Romania.
Player of the Month
Ahh, so many out there who deserve recognition. The bald side line official from USA (during the Pasadena/Mission match) was particularly impressive as was Mission's whiny dushe of a full back. Our own Wally Johnson is a candidate for his impressive shenanigans as the renowned Blue Blogger this previous season. But no, for my first installment of the POTM I am going to a reliable and famed player. He is a player who defies believability on so many levels he has risen to fame as a cult hero of the fuck wads. I just wish I had the vocabulary of socially inappropriate colloquialisms to describe the complete and total nature if his fuckheadedness. Thinking about him just shocks me into a muted state of disbelief; that any one person could be so completely… fucked, which given a long list of dushe bags we all know I disdain, it is an impressive accomplishment. So I would like to take this time to recognize ERAC player Chris Caulfield for his brazen arrogance in attempting to compete against our own Allen Rooney for the cherished spot of hooker of the D3 All Star side. Dude… what WERE YOU THINKING? To quote Jello, “Allen Rooney is the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th & 5th best hooker in our division”, which should put Caulfield roughly 197th. …right behind Ito. Honorable mention also goes to the ERAC coach and selection committee for the balls to nominate their whole fucking squad for the all star team despite the constant ass pounding delivered to them by their opposition this year. Really going to miss those shit eaters next year. Thankfully we have Kern and SLO...
The Minister goes for a ride on The 2nd Row's Player of the Month Chris "Stunt Boy" Caulfield. Hey dushe can you spell "I am a turd?"
Here our own Tim Catchless.... err I mean Coach Cutress does his very best to keep Caulfield gagged. Note the look of academic concern on the ERAC sideline player.
Here, the real deal takes the penalty tap in to put 5 on the board against The Bucks.
Somewhere in a dimly lit room loading ammo, this man is cackling loudly
The Minister goes for a ride on The 2nd Row's Player of the Month Chris "Stunt Boy" Caulfield. Hey dushe can you spell "I am a turd?"
Here our own Tim Catchless.... err I mean Coach Cutress does his very best to keep Caulfield gagged. Note the look of academic concern on the ERAC sideline player.
Here, the real deal takes the penalty tap in to put 5 on the board against The Bucks.
Somewhere in a dimly lit room loading ammo, this man is cackling loudly
Congratulations All Stars
Although I find the idea of a Blue Division All Star team completely laughable for a multitude of reasons (Reason #17- if you are picking the best players in the division Pasadena should furnish at least 10 spots on the starting IV) lets give a cheer for the 3 Pasadena players who made the A side. 
I don't know anyone in their right head who would dare argue that Allen, Keegan and Casey don't deserve every amount of praise and honor bestowed upon them for their exceptional skill (Exception: ERAC dushe Bag selector , see blog entries on Player(s) of the Month.) Great job guys.
Honorable mentions should also be given to Brian, Seamus, Dean, Greg & Matt for selection to the B side (yes folks, the B side... as in some ass hat from Beaumont is starting above them... laughable). Where are Pasadena stand outs Andy Ramerez, Mark Frazier, and John Maust? Maybe they stood behind because of the absurd idea of the D3 all star team or maybe to protest the corrupt nature of the Pasadena selection process. Who knows, all I know is the division's best player... PERIOD, should be given his due credit... again. 
I don't know anyone in their right head who would dare argue that Allen, Keegan and Casey don't deserve every amount of praise and honor bestowed upon them for their exceptional skill (Exception: ERAC dushe Bag selector , see blog entries on Player(s) of the Month.) Great job guys.
Honorable mentions should also be given to Brian, Seamus, Dean, Greg & Matt for selection to the B side (yes folks, the B side... as in some ass hat from Beaumont is starting above them... laughable). Where are Pasadena stand outs Andy Ramerez, Mark Frazier, and John Maust? Maybe they stood behind because of the absurd idea of the D3 all star team or maybe to protest the corrupt nature of the Pasadena selection process. Who knows, all I know is the division's best player... PERIOD, should be given his due credit... again.
Good job guys. Have fun dragging your new teammates from Eagle Rock and SOC up and down the pitch to the break downs.
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